For the first time in dunno how long, i visited my own blog today... N i read my entries... N i realised that at least i have 2 ppl who actually read what i write... N im glad... heh

Went to do some social work kindaf thing today... Was jioed by a fren... Was quite reluctant to go initially cos its 9 am in the morning, but well, i haf nth better to do, so y not... Its more of like an interactive session with the elderly, talking to them, n playing those grp games wif them... But though i talked to a few elderly, the communication stopped some time in the middle... Became more of like a waiter/volunteer rather than a friend... Dunno wad to talk about...

But wad surprised me was tt so many ppl are actually doing this... N they're quite friendly towards us new ppl... All so nice... which makes me start to hate myself... Conflicting? Yeah... Cos sadly, im actually not wanting to talk to any of them... Sounds quite wrong rite? But yes... Im like that now... So i juz "fu yan"ed a bit, n then talked to the 2 frens whom i already knew... I nv really used to be like this... I used to remember myself as being more sociable... Maybe its cos i see them as being the motivated, hardworking youth whom i can nv be... Maybe I feel old and jaded... Maybe i just feel inferior... Or maybe its just that i dun want to face up to the world i am in...

There are certain things tt i wanna do now, but i know it will sound totally crazy on my part... But i still wanna do it... So im promising myself ill wait for a few months first... N if i still wanna do it, then ill do it... =p Im always so good in deluding myself to make the "correct" decisions...