213

Cant beleive i'm actually updating my blog now... Right in the midst of prep fer 213 exam... Think its the most stressful exam i ever had, really put in some effort to understand all the crap, though i think i still cant get most of it... Hopefully tmr something will happen n i will be able to understand everything... Haha... Wad a wishful thought... Now back to studying... Dun even know y i'm bothering to write anything at all, think its cos i'm bored...

Hectic weeks...

HAven really updated my blog for some time, n its cos of me being tied down by work n stuff... Last week was EPP project, which really took a lot of time off me... Attending meetings to discuss stuff like powerpoint presentation n everything... It wasnt efficient, but at least i had a taste of what its like to do a project with angmohs... Its really quite different, cos ppl are mostly slacker, n wadever they say, u cant really expect them to do... but yet, they've lotsaf ideas bt implementing certain stuff, which i dun really agree with... As a result, i feel lost at times, really dunno what to do... But i did try my best to do whatever i can, and heng the partner i'm working wif is quite a decent chap...

But though its juz organising a presenation, but i really felt tt i learnt quite a lot from it... About presentations n stuff... N about people... Like my prof, he aint tt garung, n though he always ask us what we thinkg, but he has his own set of ideas already... N mostly, he'd want his ideas... Hehz... I never thought we would need to run thru the prsenatation like 4 times, but well, tts wad happened... Draft 1.0, draft 2.0, ... Makes me feel as though i'm in a company trying to do a group presentation... At the same time, u're being monitored for ur grade n contribution, but yet u gotta maintain cordial relationships with ppl n yet make urself outstanding... How? Just do whatever i can lorz.... I always have this " So long i'm aboveboard n do my stuff i will be rewarded mentaity" ...

Dunno how it turned out then, but other times, i think its a lil outdated liao... I'm quite a stubborn person when it comes to who is right n wrong, i thought i'm quite open minded liao, but well, there're times when i really cant accept whats being done to me... HAte TAs who threaten to take away marks when u approach them bt their grading... But tt time i was really quite pissed, so i just told him: " If u think tt u graded that qn too leniently, u can take marks off there but give me my marks for this qn back..." Even though i was asking for 1 mark only, but i obviously wrote the correct ans n he din see it so minus me 1 mark for nothing... The other qn i agreed he gave more than i expected, but well, if he wants to take marks away, then take lorz... But he din... My fren criticised me tt i was being too critical n stuff, n sometimes, i ought to let go... There're times i just heck n stuff... But sometimes, i'm just too stubborn to let go... Which is kindaf bad i agree...

Frens have been telling me to go after this gir fer the past weeks... Not tt she aint pretty... Not tt she aint a nice chap... Not tt she dxn like me... But sometimes, i jsut dun think being in a relationship is about these things, but more imptly, the feeling... my own feeling... Though feelings can be "pei yang" but sometimes i juz dun wanan be unfair to anyone... Jio-ing someone i dun "like" n hoping for me to like her... What if i dun like her n she likes me? Then how? Either we cont n i suffer, or we break n she suffer... Y not keep things at this state? Right? But towards some other ppl, i just have a soft spot for them... No matter wad... Though they may be less pretty, less nice, or wadever... perhaps tts wad ppl mean by "yuan fen"... perhaps in the future...

I am tired...

Yes, i am really tired today... Though i slept a whooping 9-10 hrs last night, but now, i am really really being very tired of work... Think mebbe i really reached my limit break... Not as in the hw too much or wadsoever, but i simply hate being totally clueless about what to do... which is something happening to me... N with all these expectations mounting on u that u know wad to do n can do it, i'm just so jaded... think its just the epp project... Its a freaking hell boring topic, n the ppl just throw u stuff to do... Here i am, at a loss as to wad i shd do wif a presentation coming up on tues.. I can only pray tt this time, my partner knows wad to do n can lead me on as to what we shd do... I've nv been interested in pollution n stuff but yet its a course i gotta take now... Cant drop... N its gonna be darn stupid to get B for this course... I really miss home now... Wonder how much more i can take at this pt... I seriously feel like just gng to sleep w/out doing anything today... Just laze in my bed... But i cant... N the worse's is, i've nv really felt like this before... Last week i had more stuff to do actually, but today i just dun really want to do anything... I'm juz hoping for someone to give me motivation to carry on... Whoever it is...

Having a few thoughts at this moment...
Juz finished our annual general meeting... din really enjoy myself... there wasnt enuff ppl who turned up... yet cos we need a certain percentage of attendance, we had to get n wait fer a critical mass b4 we can start... Waited fer like 45 mins... Dunno wads up wif me, but i always thought that we shd be more impartial... Impartial in the sense that even though we're singaporeans, it does not necessary mean tt we shd always side wif ourselves... Those ppl who dun bother bt SSA at all, y keep them as members? Mebbe tts a lil harsh... Lemme rephrase...
Say an event where we organising... open to both ssa n outsiders... should ssa ppl always be viewed as more impt than others? Perhaps since we're catering mainly to singaporeans... But so does that mean tt they have the right to tell us last min stuff, n we constantly have to allocate space for them for fear of them having not enuff places... Or thinking of even sacrificing others who have been abiding by the rules but are sadly not singaporeans?
Benefits must be appreciated n taken seriously.... I give u 1 inch, dxn mean i have to give u 1 yard... Yet sadly, tts the society i'm working in... Ive always advocated fairness to all, to those who abide by the rules and those that take us serisouly.. but perhaps, u may call me unfeeling or wad so ever... I shallnt list any specific cases down, dun really wanna kena bombed becos of anything... I've had enuff of my hw to do...
Sad to see tt we had to resort to calling n asking ppl to come down fer the AGM... personally felt quite demoralised... Y? cos there're too many ppl who are in SSA who dun come for our activities, who dun care bt the organization, who only wish to leech upon the benefits that SSA provides, like events n stuff, yet, not even showing the least amt of appreciation, or just simply, responsibility to care enough... N yet, there's like nothing we can do to them... N we must always have them in our members cos they are Singaporeans... Sorry, but i never really believed in " "nationalism" or racism or any ppl having any sort of priveleges just because of their race or gender or wadsoever... Perhaps its just me... But guess, it might be good to perhaps think bt it...

Ur a lil annoyed Blitzy

Just thinking...

Tired... Have lotsaf reading to do in an attempt to catch up wif work... Hope everything turns out well... Think i've been doing quite a lot for some subjects, but at times, such complexity is not required... Yet shdnt we do what we think is right? Hmm...

Tried to read assembly code, but its really really darn hard to understand... Wonder if i'll actually be able to understand it in the end, after the end of the course... Juz waiting to return to sg now... Cant wait for that to happen... Missing all u ppl...

A nice weekend...

Weekend was much better than i expected... though it involved hw, but at least i think i'm feeling quite happy n relaxed doing them... Had a nice time doing hw in skool on sat, followed by a nice buffet wif junwei... At GP... Seldom ppl would wanna go there to eat, mebbe cos they dun like the food there... But at least there's still mingyang too, to accompany me there...

Had a nice pizza lunch n dinner, watching liverpool vs chelsea n also the super bowl... Din really accomplish much, but oh well, its fated tt i shd enjoy myself haha... Relax a lil b4 the week comes again...

Finding myself becoming more n more stubborn when it comes to food... I just simply loathe the idea of eating white rice here... I'm always a more dishes than rice person, or rather, a more meat person... So i prefer places where dishes are in greater servings, or rather, there's more meat in the diet... Yar... N i dun think i'm the only one ard who's a meat lover n who's stubborn bt food... Think i've became more AS recently, preferring to cook n eat alone than go to places i dun like, where the other grp of ppl prefer... Haiz.... Dunno y i lydat also, but think its just the feeling of satisfaction tts missing in those places after i eat... Then go home i'll still carry on eating some other stuff which makes me grow fat nia... So prefer to eat a nice full dinner where i'm really satisfied... Oh, enuff of naggin... Going back to work...

A breather...

Last week was really kindaf crazy... Cant imagine tt i could actually tahan sleeping at 3+ n waking up at 8+ fer 4, or is it 5 days... Cant rem, those few days were a blur other than remembering me being stressed by my 213(programming assignment) n the CNY preps... Not that i have finished my assignment or stuff, but at least, i am near to completion... I think... So can afford a breather or so... But well, at least i made it thru those dark days... Sophomore 2nd sem really is no joking matter, heng i din become crazy enuff to take too many courses... 2 ece + 1 cs is more than enuff... N guess what, after this thurs, the programming assignment is out again... N well, the cycle starts again... With labs due on mon n tues, as well as hw due on mon n tues... Oh well, i think i can only pray that the days fly by faster and i can finally go back to sg soon...

Learnt a couple of things over the last week... sometimes u may think tt u are gd at something... n u may be really gd at it... but then, u dun really use it or do it anymore until the point that u dun dare to do it psychologically, for fear of breaking ur own self image... Then when it comes to the point that u have to do it, u then realise that u can no longer do it... Practice makes perfect, but w/out practice, there is no perfection too...