Bouncing back....

Thx all fer ur kind words... I know the previous post was kindaf bad, i thought i sound really bad, perhaps a lil suicidal when i re read it... but well, all's fine now... In fact, i boucned back the next morning... Felt tt i shd just try my best to cope, if not, drop. Easy as tt... Haha... N i've been working hard since then... Worked like 90% of my ass off these past few days... But this will last for only 1 or 2 more days, n then i shall give myself a deserved break. :P

But life's busy now... But i'm enjoying this... I wonder how long i can last... But even if i cant, i wun be beaten... =P thx all...

Depression...

I guess everyone suffers from tt at 1 pt or another... But well, its nv happened to me until now... Feeling totally depressed over work n life... Not understanding stuff in classes which i tot i could understand. Not having enough time to really read thru stuff, but i guess time is created by urself... Overestimating my own abilities was something very wrong, n i'm regretting it totally now... Do i sound depressed? I guess so...

Its only a hw i told myself... So wad if u cant finish a hw? its not about the 2% or 3% but its about my attitude as a whole... I really feel like giving up, wads the pt of piaing so much. Trying to understand so much. Trying to do wad i believe i can do. So wad if i do it? So wad if i fail? does it matter in the future? No. Will it affect my GPA? No. So wad does it affect?

ME... Yes. As mingyang pted out, its not really about whether we can afford to slack, but its our own personal drive pushing us on for more. I need a total of 4 courses in all to grad, but y am i takin 4 now and planning to take another 2-3 next sem when i dun need them? Y am i even taking grad courses? Is it tt i really have interest in it? I thought so but y am i then feeling the way i do. Perhaps its simply my ego being too big for my abilities. Maybe someone shd juz knock me on the head n tell me i'm not as smart as i think i am, n tt i shd really go fer the easier way out of things.

Y cant i have a lower drive. A less motivated me. A true slacker who would just take the easy way out of things. A me who cant be bothered. A me who dares to do wad i want. A me who lives without regrets. A me whom i want to be, not who i am.

I thought...

I thought tt this sem i would be slacker... But noooo... Yday seems juz like another day of last sem...

Life here is just like so normal. Dota occupies a large part of life here, i am trying to make it a smaller part of my life. But turns out, there isnt really tt much to do ard here. Esp when i dun like drinking.

Juz read ming yang's blog bt me joining face book. I wonder y he knows the reason when i dun even know. Perhaps, as my best bud, he may know things bt me tt i dun even know.
Haha...

When i get bz, i juz dun update my blog. Apologies, but well, life in cmu is lydat. I am juz kidding myself when i say i want a slacker sem.

N I finally understand the diff btw grad courses n undergrad courses.

- Played soccer over the weekend. Darn dulan at some tua kang angmoh who keeps boosting tt he could dribble across the field when he is like shit. Hate those ppl. n i hate those who keep kicking me even more. Alan said i'm getting more aggressive, but tts cos i'm dulan

- Feeling hungry easily again these days. But heng appetite still small. Hope i dun eat too much snacks again

- Finally went to get facebook. n added my frens

- Homework coming, stressed once again. How? Suck thumb n continue muggin.

- Mariscoda is good. A huge metal pot of assorted seafood. I tot it wun be filling, but the prawns are like endless, wif 3 crayfishes n super nice scallops... Tts the the spanish restaurant Mallorca!