Im really amazed at my brain at times... there are some events tt it remembers so ever clearly, even though its been a year... Ok, technically its only been 51 weeks, but some things juz dun change...

This week @ work has been good.. Im getting tasks to do, i.e. coding... which made me realise how rusty i am... Super rusty man... I used to do file processing programs using 3 hrs in C in cmu, but now, i spend like 1 day before i can sort of get it right... Zzz... Really need to buck up, was even contemplating gng back to work on weekends, since i've nth much on... Used to think tt i had quite some activities gng on this weekend, but nope... Plans fell thru...

N weirdly enuff, i had a dream bt hm... Nope, not the hm tt my loves so dearly... but a fren in cmu... Well, dunno y i dreamt bt her, but the farnie thing is, she appeared as a close fren in my dream when to be honest, we arent tt close at all... well, got me thinking bt certain things... things which im too lz to type out... so w.e. its getting late... i shd really go rest for soccer n leave everything tt has passed in the past...

Im blogging more often... Maybe its cos i spend less time playing dota, more time thinking n more time experiencing stuff...

N yes, after i say this im sure the anti-dota ppl would say "See i told u so... Dota kills all life... "
But in actual fact, no... It juz requires balancing... As i always would say, if u've nth better to do at home, y not juz dota? Its fun...

But tts juz a side note...

Wanted to touch on a more impt issue... But juz dunno how to spell it out... But the main thing bt blogging tt i like is tt it helps me consolidate my thoughts... Know wad im doing, by trying to phrase things out as truthfully as possible, but also as indirectly as possible. Y indirect? I would actually ask tt qn to a fren who likes to blog the same way as me... I guess its juz tt there are some things tt i dun wish to face up to... Not knowing how to deal wif it... Or not willing to admit that how i am actually like... Guess i dun like myself as much as i show tt i do... haha... So i always juz try to insinuate stuff so tt im the only one who knows bt it, or rather, ppl who know bt it would know, ppl who dunno bt it would juz continue to dunno...

Oh wells, i think next week will be more interesting... Lets c how my mood goes...

Zouk... Ppl say the ave age is like 23.. .But seriously, ppl there do seem so much older than me...
But anyways, alcohol came at a timely way... Too bad tj n my werent there, but at least there was jm... Couldnt get into phuture, too many ppl... Zzz... So juz chilled at wb... Felt better after the drink, n as per sop, i went on to msn ppl after i got home... Juz to try to prove to myself tt i was ok when in actual fact, i wasnt... Jisoo was my first victim... but in the end, i ended up really chatting wif her... As compared to some others whom i juz din bother to reply...

A fren was complaining to me tt its sad tt he's not meeting new ppl (i.e. girls) ... I actually think its sadder to meet new ppl, only to realise tt they're not well, as per wad u'd expect... But come to think of it in another way... the world's full of different ppl, u not knowing it dxn mean it dxn exist, it juz means tt i'm deluding myself... So in a way, its always better to know 1 more person than 1 less person rite? =)

Attended my cousin's wedding today... But its more impt to me than juz someone's wedding... Cos its actually the first time im gng to meet all my relatives, cousins, etc, after a few years of absence... N yes, i need to give them a good impression, blah blah blah... N wads even worse, im actually sitting @ the vip table during the wedding... YES... Wif my cousin's family, my cousin-in-law's family N me... I guess they needed someone to fill in the empty spot, n someone to talk to the in-law's siblings... But it was weird sitting there alone when the families are all talking... Ok, they dun keep talking tt much and i actually chatted quite a bit wif my uk cousin-in-law... But during those alone times, I can only do wad i do best... Pretend to be bz by taking out my hp... N then become slightly bz by smsing ppl... N then i paid the price... Some bugger told me the liverpool-manu result... Zzz... I had recorded the match, and planned to watch it later at nite... So the game was totally ruined... Zzz... But at least they won...

Do u haf a day where u dun wanna talk to anyone in person, but dun mind talking to ppl online? Well, today's juz the day...

Woke up to a most wtf email... Oh well... Shit happens...

The secret of not getting into arguments lies in 1 phrase: Keep ur mouth shut

U dun say anything, then no one can say tt u are wrong...
U dun say anything, then no one can find any fault wif ur words...

Juz realised another flaw in my char... Some ppl may do wrong things, but to me, im kindaf non-chalant... perhaps im juz more selfish, i'd only feel things if i were the victim... or maybe cos i keep trying to see things from those ppl's viewpt, n realise tt its juz them... Nth wrong or right... its juz the way they are... Guess i only find things wrong if they are contradicting, or if ppl say 1 thing, n do the other or sth lydat...

Oh wells, w.e. Grats to me for averting another disaster...

Today is a good day.
I went to the gym... Finally... N i even made a new fren there... Some japanese-filipino guy who's quite cool... For some reason, it always seems to be easier to talk in the gym...

which reminds me, today is a weird day too...
Weird things happen, n u have weird conversations wif ppl...
Girls talking to me bt the need for sun block to help wif the skin... Ok, i get the hint...
Girls talking to me bt sim lim square... I guess my face juz spells geek all over it... N the sad thing is, im actually not one...

Im glad its now 12 am, not 12 pm... Things i would have blogged abt would be very different...
One of the rare day-emos took place this afternoon... Totally cant do work... Not as in no mood or anything, but i juz grew stupid... Stared @ code for like 2 hrs, wif intermittent attks by z monster... N i din know wad was gng on in the code @ all... Went for lunch alone, n for some reason, i seem to meet the whole world then... I really wonder y i meet ppl when im alone... N yup, i gave them a friendly smile n then reverted back to my "deep-in-thought" look, or rather, the "i dun wanna talk to anyone" look... Went back to office where i became stupid for 2-3 hrs... N went to get coffee... N ya, i saw my batch scholars there... Seriously im not in the mood to say hi or anything, so i juz da-baoed n left... N then, ah, things got better... I got my focus back, understood wad im suppose to do, n know the clarifications i need to make... simply put, im back to normal...

But amazingly, i actually had a nice chat wif my cubicle mates, even though i din wanna talk to anyone else... Weird me... N on the bus, i was in my "mp3 player" mode until a lil child looked @ me wif her big eyes... I gave a superficial smile back, but she continued looking at me... N i actually smiled back, genuinely... N for once today, im quite happy... Made me start thinking bt how many kids i want to have, how i'd treat them, etc... =p

2nd of September

I always wondered wad i will be doing/feeling on this day... I imagined the best scenario for myself, came up wif a course of action, n im glad i stuck to it... I guess its always better when u have lotsaf other things ard u bahz...

Work is gng better... At least i think im finally getting a bit more hands on, n doing less reading... which is good... Its gng to be wed soon, n then thurs n fri... The weekend juz seems so near all of a sudden... N there is the prospect of gng to drink wif my buddies on sat... Its been a long time i touch alcohol, feeling like juz whacking it... But then there is this "set good eg to sis, be a goody-two-shoes son" angel telling me tt i shd juz control myself... Zzz...

ok i shd really ctrl myself n stop listening to this song... Let me get back to my usual hip hop tracks... Or even better, get to bed... Work work... =p

Had a nice weekend... Not too tiring but yet not too boring... Thx to my for the ktv, thought it was pretty fun... N for once, i went to a ktv where # girls > #guys... Company was quite farnie too i think... Only thing is i dun seem to have any new songs to sing... The newer songs all like not nice lydat, even if i want to learn new songs also dun have songs i want to learn... Zzz... Nvm, i can always try more old songs...

Bball was tiring as once again... But its kindaf becoming a weekly routine for me... 1. Its good to exercise at least once a week, now that i am working n being super lazy... 2. Company aint bad too... At least think our wavelength dun differ tt much...

Went for a soccer compy today... Sianz ^ 10... I was soooo unfit, sprint up n down a few times then shack liao, cant think... Sighs... Really quite disappointed with myself, n i let down my team quite a bit... Got a few decent chances, but i either put it too high, or too left... Zzz...

Steve jobbs once said " live everyday as though its ur last"... Easier said than done... If u live as though its ur last, there are so many considerations tt u can ignore... Heck work... Heck wad ppl think of me... Heck bt responsibility... Tt was sort of me last sem in cmu, i really din care bt quite a lot of things since its my last sem... But sometimes, its juz hard to do wadever u wanna do...