Been up to date reading blogs of friends, n catching up with their thoughts and life... 2007 is ending, and a new year comes... And with a new year comes new hopes, new events, new perspective... But before all this can come, lemme look back at how 2007 went for me...

1. I was once again back into drinking... Drank more this year than my whole 23 years combined, which also means my liver suffered the most dmg this year... But through drinking, i got to know new people, made new frens n opened up my social circle... Think im quite happy wif my social life now, though it could've been better still, had i mixed around more during my sophomore years... The only thing is, there are some ppl i've been drinking with many times, but i still do not know them well... Somehow it seems that this friendship is more superficial than deep, but i guess perhaps thats what ppl call social networking...

2. Started TA-ing for courses in 2007 too... Think its quite a nice source of income, n i really like teaching ppl... This makes me all the more feel that i should have been a teacher, instead of an engineer... Or maybe i could go get my phD n become a teaching professor... lolz... Let me just continue dreaming...

3. I bought a car for myself!!! I've always been thrify throughout my last few years here, but this year, i really opened up my bank account, digging deep into reserves i spent the last few years painstakingly accumulating... But its my last yr here, n i shd really enjoy myself...

4. I feel old... Nv really thought of myself as old until now, n i've nv really cared about loneliness until this year... Definitely not a good sign, but i guess its time i grow up...

5. I saw the most beautiful girl ever in my life... Apparently she is not the prettiest to other ppl, n some dun even find her that attractive... She is somewhat of a TV idol to me, always so far away... But at least i got to know her, so i guess this must be the one of the best things tt happened to me in 2007...

6. ... ... ... ...

7. I grew fitter, or at least i think i grew fitter... The 6 packs still eluded me, but with all the time to slack next sem, perhaps, i may finally meet my fitness aim of my life... Would really like to take a nice photo of myself when i still look decent, at least 20 yrs down the road, i can tell my kids, "Those were the days ur dad was still young n yan daoz... " (hopefully i will get married n haf kids) I mean, i really would like a point of time when i reach my peak in life... Achieving all my personal goals, n being real happy with myself... After that point, my motivation will prob go downslope, being more slack, more unfit, n juz enjoying life more... Sighs... I haf a feeling that day will come soon...

Oh well, looks like 2007 has been quite a nice year for me actually... Lotsaf new experiences... Which dxn seem bad at all... =p

Songs...

The way i listen to music has always been quite special i think... I would have a crazy liking for 1 song at some time, n listen to it 100 times or more, until i come across another song that makes me want to listen to it... Been listening to a lot of eng pop/hip hop, but i stumbled upon this particular one song that made me addicted to it currently... N if u're seeing this mingyang, yeap, its ur fav chinese song we play while drinking... Haha...

Nv been a fan of copying song lyrics onto my nic, or pasting lyrics onto my blog... But I felt such a strong urge to do so, i simply cannot dun do it... So here it goes...

黄品源 - 你怎么舍得我难过 (ni zen me she de wo nan guo)

对你的思念 是一天又一天
孤单的我还是没有改变
美丽的梦 何时才能出现
亲爱的你 好想再见你一面

秋天的风 一阵阵的吹过
想起了去年的这个时候
你的心到底在想些什么
为什么留下这个结局让我承受

最爱你的人是我 你怎么舍得我难过
在我最需要你的时候 没有说一句话就走
最爱你的人是我 你怎么舍得我难过
对你付出了这么多 你却没有感动过

The will of heaven, or the will of the man...

Played lotsaf poker these days... Last week n this week... Won big last week, lost big this week... Ppl seem to be able to tell wad i have from the way i play, am i really so easily read? But yet, despite knowing, they continued betting against me... N i followed... The only difference is, last week they had weaker hands, this week, they had unbelievable hands...

I've always been a stubborn person towards my beliefs, n the same goes for poker... I based my play upon statistics, as a true statistician would... (Too bad im a stat major... ) But somehow, the odds dun seem to favour me.... I all ined when i had huge odds, A-Q suited against 10-2 unsuited, A-9 suited against 6-9 unsuited, n 2 pairs at flop vs someone waiting for flush draw... Each hand i was statistically superior, at least on a 2:1 ratio if not higher... But i lost every hand...

Which got me thinking... Sometimes, its all about the flow of luck... When u are on a winning streak, u'll win no matter wad... When u're on a losing streak, no amts of probability would help... Its all heaven's will.. There is only so much one can do... I can keep trying, n keep losing n feeling sian... Or i can simply fold n wait... Wait until i get back my luck... But as i've said... I'm stubborn... I know the wall is there, but i'll continue to bang it... Until i feel too sian... Lets c how much more feelings of sianness i can absorb...

A lonely man's voice...

Its been another month... Right from after thxgiving to the finals week to the current days of doing nothing... Had a few hell weeks, nothing too much, but i am constantly pushing myself to do things... Most of the times, its grp effort... N i really dun wanna do it, cos my grp mates sux... But when i see 1 person doing things, it'll motivate me to go do it too... I guess i juz dun wanna let anyone down, especially myself...

Had my last bday in pitt, which was well... different... I felt different from any of my past bdays, different perhaps this yr i made a wish that was very different from all the other previous years... Guess perhaps its really age's tts catching up with me, i seem to think differently now... I dun really care tt much bt my grades anymore, i dun really care about other ppl as much already, i just wanna find that special someone... I've talked bt this topic with others, and ppl have always asked me bt wad about my career, wad about seeing the world, wad about blah blah blah... But at this pt of time, i just seem to feel that i've done everything i want to do n i proud of myself... My career's kindaf fixed, i am proud of my academic achievements, i'm happy with my friends, i think i've seen enuff of the world at this pt of time... There is only this one last thing... the thing that causes the gloom around many of the swinging bachelors we know... We may all seem good n alright on the surface, but i guess, there is always that night of loneliness where u just hope to have someone to talk to, someone to tell you that everything's gonna be alright, someone to be with u...

I guess many frens ard me probably feel the same as me, but i've a deeper fear... Not the fear that no one will like me, but rather, the fear tt i'll nv like anyone else again.. .Sounds so noobish rite? But yeah, tts something tts been bothering me for a while now... I'm sortaf a picky or non-picky person... I'm picky in the sense that i would only want someone that i really like, which has been hard to find... But non-picky in the sense that once i like someone, i dun really care bt how she is like n stuff... Oh well... Lets just see... 1 more sem in US then few more years in sg... Dun wish to think anymore... After all, its x'mas... A day where everyone shd be happy...