Its really good to get certain things off ur chest... Really good... N come what may, its part of life... Instead of lamenting over the lousiness of my pathetic existence, i might as well make the best of it... Yup... So w.e... I'll get things gng again...

N thx fer e help... Its been really a long time, but i guess some things juz dun change eh? ;)

Tired... That is the word of the week...
I was sooo tired on monday... The number of times i was attked by z monsters was like the total i had in the past week... Totally sux... N im really tired of reading the same stuff i have been reading the past week... Not that it was repetitive, but it was simply too much for me... I might be kindaf smart at times, but im definitely not those who can learn abt a topic simply by reading w/out explanation n exercises...

A blog had these qns

you know what's funny?
when you can't bring yourself to trust people
you know what's sad?
when you can't get yourself to confide in your friends
you know what sucks?
when you realize you've been wrong and you've made so many mistakes but you have no idea where to start making amends.

I asked the same qns n asnwered them too...

you know what's funny?
When u're really feeling low n not wanting to smile... But then u c urself in the mirror n realise tt u look quite good while not smiling... N then u smiled...
you know what's sad?
When even the closest ppl dun understand u anymore... n u dun understand how they can dun understand u...
you know what sucks?
when everything sux so badly, its easier to answer the qn what dxn sux... my frens...

I always knew tt ppl will have mid life crisis... Where they start to think bt a lot of things, n fear illnesses n death... But i nv expect there to be a quarter life crisis... Where u also think about a lot of things...
Things like...

1. Am i gng to be stuck at this job forever? Its not tt i hate my job... In fact i dun even know my job much yet... But i think of doing similar things everyday... N facing the same ppl everyday... Hmm... But i know i dun like change too... I wun be those kind who like to switch jobs too... Arrgh... N wif my supt telling me more things, wif me having to make more decisions... Im juz arrgh...

2. Things wif my family is gng ok... but i know deep down it isnt... I have changed... N they cannot accept the changed me... So wad i do? I dun show the changed me... Or rather i juz suppress myself... Zzz... N how long can this last? i guess at least for the time being...

3. N of cos when u are gng to 3 weddings next month, n u think bt ppl ur age getting married, settling down... But u are still swinging nonchalently... Ok, maybe slightly less non-chalent.. Its wrong for me not to be worried... N as i told my fren... The day u c me signing up for SDU is a sign tt im getting despo... N ydya i actually went to the SDU website... Though haven sign up ... yet...
Am i really tt picky? I mean, its not as though i am only interested in 1/2 people lorz.... Aiya, w.e. this topic has been off limits for myself for months n shall continue to be so...

4. Frens... I realise tt frens i c most often are either those 1. who work in same place as me, 2. unattached... all the frens whom i used to be close to have seemingly juz vanished after finding a gf... Hmm, ok, maybe not all... but i am really wondering which are the frens tt we'll still hang out n talk, after like 8 yrs... Hmmm...

5. N of cos $$$... There is always the problem of thinking how u can earn enuff for the future... Or rather, u might not haf enuff to upkeep ur own lifestyle... Hmmm... But at least i cna tell myself now... I am gng to be at this lvl for at least 6 more yrs... So cant do anyhting bt it... So there is no need to do anything too... ;) Juz live life as it is... N hope tt my family can get rich... Somehow or another... Maybe its time i go buy toto...

Quote from a fren "Agonies of the modern male... "

A good 2 weeks have passed by... out of which 2 main things happened...

1. HongKong

Visited hk for 6 days wif my buddy jw... To visit his wife or rather, my another good buddy, mich... For some reason, i juz cant imagine them leaving for the states w/out a proper, official good bye... N the hk trip seemed to be the justification for all that... N i actually spent a lot of my time looking at them settle their wedding stuff... Which makes me realise how fast life is coming at me... But i must say, mich's parents are really very "hao ke" ... Of cos its good for me... I eat allll the good food there... From lobsters, to crabs, to peking ducks, to suckling pig... I really ate like everything... I would have wanted to buy them dinner at least once, but i know this would probably cost me like 1/4 of my total assets... so maybe next time bah, after i start working... N i actually met up wif an old jc fren of mine there... Someone whom i used to talk a bit to, but haven talked to her in like 6 years...
But it was nice catching up, listening to all her "stories" bt shitty girls n guys, n learning quite a bit of stuff i nv knew before... haha...

2. Work

Yeap, i finally started work... I dreaded gng to work initially, afraid that it would mean the end of my awesome life which i am totally relishing at that pt of time... But now, i realise tt work aint tt bad after all... I think my boss is good... Environment is not too stressful, n things seem to be gng well... Guess i might juz wanna switch contract to there, but ill give myself 1-2 more months before concluding anything... I mean, i'm very prone to being controlled by strong emotions, so its always better to let time be the judge of everything...
N to be hoenst, i am actually looking forward to go to work... Or at least, i think tt i have an aim in life now... A new aim... One tt could probably last for like 40 yrs instead of 4 yrs, but nevertheless, its good for me... =p