Finally, my thoughts are sorted out...

Its gd to be typing in this mood again... Not to complain or think too deeply bt not too nice stuff, but gd to just enjoy this time... Slacked e day off again... Haha... played soccer from 9-12... Darn shiok, long time nv play liaoz.. But kena "zhamed" till tmd painful... Now whole leg machiam like trotters... Swollen... though i always wanted larger calves, but this is really not my idea of bigger legz... Lolz... Well, i think i have finally thought it through... After so long, i realised its not gd to think about stuff too much... haha... Its always a blessing to be able to just do wad ur heart wants, w/out thinking of e consequences... (of cos, i'm not encouraging evil acts... besides, fer all those who know me, e tian zhen ke ai me is just incapable of such acts... ) Just letting urself go fer once... At least, i think i've let go liaoz... or maybe, i hope...

Homework sometimes seem a lot, sometimes seem so lil... I still feel a lil slack, but think there are always much more stuff more impt than juz doing hw... Which is wad i'm kindaf doing now... yeap... Trying to live out my life to the max... Doing all e things i like, n all the things i shd... Lalala... Suddenly missed all my frens out there... Just a craving to like talk to them... Asking how they are doing now... Really wanna know... *mood sinks back into thinking mode*

Guess i'm too tired now to think of wad to write... Its those time when u're juz tongue tied... N dunno wad to say... As in dunno wad to say to create laughter... But juz tend to say more serious stuff... E boring me which everyone dxn like... Haiz, hope i'll not be lydat tmr... Well, shall juz end this wif a nice note...

Random quote of the day: "U may not think much of urself, but u may be e one constantly occupying someone's thoughts... "

Oh what a fool i've been...

1 week has passed by quickly... Wif many stuff happening... After watching the movie" Being John Malkovich" thoughts start going into my head... If u could be anyone, who would u be? I'd choose me still... If the one u love aint u, would u want to change urself to be the one he/she loves? After u've changed urself, are u still u? Even then, the one he/she loves is no longer u... Or rather, it may be u physically, but spiritually? Or are we all capable of presenting our different facets at different times... such tt even if u change, its still u... cos i mean bluntly, u are u... But just to think a lil differently, if u change urself to a different nature, are u still u? So who am i, who are u? What is it that defines u from me, u from him, me from her... Who am i to u? Who am i to her? Hmm...

Sometimes, u nv know wad is real n false... At one time, u may think in this way... but after some time, u think differently again... Hmm... Y is the human mind so fickle? Or rather, y is my mind ferever changing...

The human mind keeps thinking n judging ppl ard u... yet, there're so many factors tt can possible affect ur judgment... until u question urself... Are my thoughts all biased in fact? Its a scary notion though... To know tt there are just so many perceptions tt u formed which may not be correct... U may have been wrong all the time... But life's all about mistakes i guess... Its better not to think so much n let ur heart do the ruling... Just follow ur heart...

Hail e arrival of homework! Yet, i'm still slacking away here... Homework mood gone, once again... As fast as it comes... it leaves... Sadly... Msn cant work today... Feel tt a part of my life is gone... Arrgh... Guess i've really become a net addict, ferever chatting wif ppl online.... But sadly, the net is not the only thing i'm addicted too... there're too many here... One of em being chocolates... Could feel the uneasiness in me once when after a meal, i longed for sweet stuff to chew upon... I really felt unease when i cant find any... In e end, had to use sweets t substitute fer it.. Arrgh... How to go on my diet lydat... Luckily i have no coffee addiction... But the greatest addiction still lies out there... Controlling my mood... Or am i wrong about myself again?

As probably u can c, today's more of the other side of Blitzy mood... When he starts thinking n gets dulan easily... (pardon e vulgarity)
Understanding Blitzy Chapter 4 (or is it 3?): Irresponsibility dxn go well with me, but i realise tt extraness's also dxn attract me...
but i shall be up n back again, after i eat my nice nice food...Lol... N watch my dvd later... Ekin cheng is juz so sei in Gu huo zai... Haiz, heng i nt a ger, else sure fall in love wif him... Now more concerned about Mischa Barton in OC2... Where she now hangs out wif... ... I really want Ryan to get back wif her, but I dun want Linzy to feel hurt too... After all, she's quite not bad too... (oops, i sound so superficial) Haha... But its definitely a great show... which can affect ur emotions quite easily...

Random quote of e day" U may not succeed if u try, but if u dun try, u'll definitely fail".
(a simple but very useful quote nonetheless)

Les Mis!!!

Hate to see my roommate being in a constant state of illness... His fever like come on n off, n when he seems better, he gets worse again... Haiz... Hope he recover soon... Need someone to listen to all my bull shitting... Kaka...

Went fer e SSA elections on fri... Things kindaf turned out like wad i expected, except fer a few surprises... One of em being me... I'm now e official PR manager fer e SSA... Haha... To me, PR Manager = some guy dressed in a suit in a club drinking wif other guys... N of cos, wif his hands ard 2 girls sitting on his lap... Lolz... But dun think i'll be lydat ya? Even if i wanted to, dun think e SSA will be sponsoring all my expenses in "entertaining" other clients... Esp wif that treasurer called Daniel ard...

Went to watch Les Mis this week too... Could frankly say tt it was excellento... The voices of the cast are very good, wif a few whom i'd say are hair-raising... (could feel my e hair on my arms standing... even though i dun have much hair on my arms) or in Dota terms, i'd called it "Dominating"... Had very gd seats in e musical (this comes after a lil price), and thus was able to like see each individual quite clearly... Much better than those others who were sitting in e back n trying to make out who is who... Was scared i'd be bored n fall asleep initially, but once i hear e "jean Valjean" pronouned as someting like "jawn vul-jawn" open his mouth, n e nice story, i knew tt it was well worth the amt spent... E story was quite sad, i could somehow feel e anguish in their voices... Esp e char called "eponine". She wasnt really a lead, but juz someone who's in love wif the a guy... Not only did she helped him find out about e ger he likes, she helped me in any way she could, even delivering a letter to his beloved which in e end ended up in her getting shot... (n ok, she's quite chio imo too... lolz...) E scene was touching, a slightly longer song would haf made me drop a tear... *sob sob*

Went to a frens' bday party afterwards... Juz went in n then after a while had to drink like a few shots... N it tastes horrible! *yucks* Absolutely hated it... I haf nv been a fan of alcohol, n the stupid taste juz makes it worse... Kaoz eh... But u look at e ppl ard u, everyone like like alcohol so much, u juz continue to dun understand em... Haiz...

Was darn glad to be able to watch e liverpool match yday... But its sad to c them play so badly... Morientes wasnt too bad, even though he missed a few tough chances... They lost... Not tt the goal was great but i think the keeper could've done better... But they played badly enuff to e most draw, if not lose... Haiz.. so sad...

Random quote of e day: "E truth hurts... But there's always a limit to how much u shd hide e truth fer"...

Rambling...

Dun even know y i am up now... At this unearthly hr... The hr hand approaching the number 5... Arrgh, dxn feel gd at all... Yet, i have slept till i cant sleep anymore, wif nothing to do now... Hmm... Yesterday hasnt been such a great day, was so tired tt i was kindaf "dao" in a way... Gotta apologise to all those whom i kindaf either "dao-ed" or was kindaf quiet wif... Seriously have no idea wad to write here... Mind in a darn blank except tt i know mood aint too gd... Nothing to do wif jet lag, its juz some idiotic thing tt keeps preventing me from being happy... Even i oso dunno wad it is... I mean, i can juz feel tt there's sth, heaven knows wad it is...

Brings me to e notion of bad mood... Haiz... Sometimes, ur personal mood really affects the ppl ard u... I really really hate to affect ppl negatively wif my mood, i dun wanna do anything tt i'll regret when my mood turns gd again... Even in a bad mood, i'll always try my very best to treat ppl ard me same as when i'm normal, (normal as in when my mood is gd, though to u, my normal mood may be my bad moods, but then i'll only haf 1 thing to say to u: u MUST be e cause of my mood swings... Lol...)

Welcome to Understanding Blitzy Chapter 3: When Blitzy tells u his mood is bad, pls try to forgive him and juz know tt he's really trying darn hard to be "normal"... So dun go do stupid things to anagonize him...

Remember last time, when i was in the doldrums, i always like to tell ppl tt i'm not in a gd mood... Yet, sometimes, some idiots do not understand tt i'm seriously serious bt it... tt i'm already trying very hard to ctrl myself... My self ctrl aint too bad i think, (except of cos when it comes down to e 3 loves of Blitzy... If u dun believe in this, n can think of situations when i cant ctrl myself, well tt must be one of Blitzy's 3 loves) but anyway, as i was saying, b4 i digressed a lil, i am sometimes really trying hard not to be dulan tt easily... but e sad fact remains tt my mood swings can swing from like angel to devil in juz 1 split second... All it takes is sth to hit my raw nerve... N ta-da, e nice angelic Blitzy wif his ferever charming looks, (ok, i may have exaggerated a lil but its still quite true right? Or, ok, maybe i've exaggerated moderately, but it cant be tt bad right? Oh fine, there is only 1% truth n all e rest bull shit in e statement... haiz, e truth hurts...) has evolved into a Chao Blitzy wif a du lan bin3 (it means unhappy face in a greater extent) who does things a lil irrational n wif uncomprehandable actions...

It was only recently tt my fren once asked me this qn.... Do u know who actually comes n reads all this crap tt u typed? Hmm... I was a lil stunned n really dunno e ans... So, if u're a fellow blogger reading this, maybe it could be ur turn to start thinking bt who actually reads all ur words of wisdom bt urself... Hehz...

Ok, think tts enuff tc-ing fer one night... (tc===> tok cock) Shall attempt to go back to sleep(by lying in my bed n listening to my newest crush: You Hong Ming's Lian Shang Lin Yi Ge Ren... Hopefully it wun stir up too much sad thoughts... ) , or maybe read up some stuff... (hmm, some history textbooks would do nicely here...)

Random quote of e day:" U may feel as though u're giving much more than wad the other party is reciprocrating wif, but at e end of e day, wad matters most is whether u give more than u receive, but whether u're comfortable wif it..."

====> Do as ur heart feels, there shd be no calculations involved where matters of e heart is involved...

Leaving... Arriving... Again...

Felt almost e same way as when i left sg fer e first time... Missing all my frens already, n of cos, my family too... Everything seems as though it was back to post-ord mode... Hanging ard wif everyone... I really felt so reluctant to leave sg behind... Even though i know tt life in pitt aint tt bad, or rather, wad i experienced so far was nothing... But things tt need to be done has to be done...

In e air port, the same feeling came back... Me when it was bt 5 months back... Haiz...

E trip aint too bad though, cos i slept thru msot of it... E more excruciating thing would be my knees hurting due to long time sitting n lack of space... But still, it was sad i couldnt finish my movie, "Taxi" b4 we landed... Cos i spent too much time sleeping... Was greeted wif quite some bad luck as e moment i reach US, they found my pork floss... Arrgh... quite 4gotten tt its pork which is a meat tt i gotta declare... Not only did the stupid customs ppl threw it away, but they fined me $100 USD for this freaking mistake... Tmd, wad a great way to start e sem.. N e attitude of the guy was oso darn bad, which made me sibei dulan...100 gone juz like tt... I have nth much to say...

Felt darn tired 1st day of classes... think mebbe due to jet lag... But on second thoughts, its mostly due to e anti biotics i ate to prevent inflammation or wadever... Wanted to sleep in e afternoon but juz couldnt sleep.. Arrgh... Wads worse, my stupid academic advisor had to tell me to drop 1 of e courses... Wth... Now my schedule will be screwed up n i gotta make a tough choice... as to which course to choose... Sux totally man...

Random joke of e day, from a lame fren of mine...
As it goes, this fren of mine always gambles on soccer thru net or bookies... One day, a man asked my fren this qn... How do u collect ur winnings from e bookie or net? Arent u afraid tt he'll run away? or tt they deny his bet...To which my fren answer: Oh, i no need to worry bt him... I still owe e bookie $400, i think he more afraid of me running away than him running away from me... ...

Extreme happiness n pain...

Once again, my clique nv fail to amaze me... By giving me a surprise which i totally anticipate at all... Wah, this time i was like touched beyond words... din even know wad to say to em... Its juz a simple present, but its sth tt some part of my mind would want, but yet i'm always too lz to even go buy it... Think its one of e rare times i'm really surprised...

Yet, it makes me even sadder tt i'm leaving them again... Really wanna bring em wif me, or stay here wif em... Hang out together... Arrgh...

Today however, had to undergo a lil pain... blood gushed out, n split onto doc's pants... Now walking wif a limp... Its been so long since i experienced such physical pain... Arrgh... But at least, it reminds me of e tough times i've been thru... e pain in e army... Glad tt its all over...

Come to think of it, there's always been a comparison btw physical stuff n mental stuff... Eg. would u rather be physically stressed (army) or mentally stressed (exams)... during jc, i was looking ferward to my army time... When i do not haf to think of e exams... i can be relaxed mentally... But in army, i think of e times tt i no need to feel so shag... in renaissance of e past... where i can juz mug hw which is easier than trying to chiong sua... Hmm...

B4 i left fer sg, i felt quite reluctant to leave pitt... Now tt i'm back in sg, i'm reluctant to go to pitt... think its cos i'm a person who's unwilling to change... I dun like changes, esp abrupt changes like a change in environment... cos i'm always unsure... Unsure of what lies ahead...

How bt u? Are u satisfied wif ur present life? Or do u look back n think tt the past is better... I tend to think tt ppl will always try to compare life now wif tt in e past... then bask in e past gd life or past glories...

Today i shall not give any random quote... But rather, a quote from a fren which i forgot to publish last time...

"Pls dun make my dog bark at u, it has a weak heart" (no sarcasm or hidden meaning... i juz find it so farnie...)

Uncertainty...

Nothing is certain in e world... Or rather, everything is in e mind... There is no absolute black or white but rather, everything is juz grey... The colour ultimately depends on what our mind perceives it to be... Which again, depends on our character n the event in context... 2 ppl do e same thing, if ur impression of e first guy is gd, then u'll think tt wad he did is gd... n vice versa... But y cant we all juz look at e gd side of everything, make ourselves less stressed? Y must we always pile unnecessary stuff onto our minds?

This kindaf reminds me of 1984 where an interesting qn was raised... If everyone believes in ur belief, then does it mean tt ur belief becomes the truth? (belief as in u really believe tt it is true, both in ur heart n mind)

Misunderstandings arose becos we dun put ourselves into e other person's shoes... If we are able to wear this pair of shoes, n know his way of thinking, i guess everything will be made much simpler...

Dun feel like writing much today... Juz wondering how come things btw ppl can be so complicated... Will i ever end up in e similar plight as them? I hope to have faith in myself n ppl ard me, but u nv know... N tts e scary part of life...

Random quote of e day: " The truth hurts, but a quick stab is always better than gruelling pain..."

A new yr... wif some lil wishes from a lil boy...

A new yr has come... Spent e new yr rotting in orchard road, wif nothing much to do except c ppl buying spray cans n spraying stuff all along e road.. Haiz... Mebbe shd've gone somewhere else... But wif 2004 behind me, hope 2005 will be an excellent yr... Started off quite nicely i must say... enjoyed soccer wif my gd frens, though its devastating to c liverpool lose to chelsea despite their superior performance... Sianz...

Juz realised tt time really flies... I've been in sg fer less than 2 weeks, n yet, it all seems as though its only yesterday tt i am mugging in e library fer my ece exam... It seems to really fit into the dayz after my ord nowadays, wif pitt being in a separate memory zone... If u get wad i mean... There are really so much i havent done, including a meeting up wif a gd fren... but now tt he flew off back to US already... Arrgh... Feel so bad now... Haiz... N i haven tasted all my sg delicacies too... N ...

Well, since its e new yr, mebbe i shd come up wif some new yr resolutions... In no order of merit.

1. Getting back to my size b4 i left fer pitt (Fer all u who know me, this is sth i've been whining bt... Hope it'll eventually be done over e next sem)

2. Tasting even better food! ( Think its no surprise to anyone tt i would say this, this being e 2nd of e 3 loves of Blitzy...)

3. No more natural disasters or man made disasters... (This aint a "i wish fer world peace" speech from e miss universe or wadever, but its juz a genuine wish... )

4. Wishing all those ard me be safe n happy... (Its juz so depressing to c ppl ard u feeling sad...)

5. Having relaxed n enjoyable sems wif gd grades n an exciting life... (haha, this sounds so impossible i know, but let me juz harbour this lil hope k? )

6. America allowing us to send bak guas n durians into it... (Sorry, but i juz cant resist not saying this... )

7. N of cos, me finally ... (haha, sry i'm a lil greedy but lets juz leave this wish open first... or haf i already sth in mind?)

2004 gone... in a flash...

Hmm, feel a lil different today... dunno wad to write, but juz feel like babbling nonsense away here... Serious, dunno how to even begin today, or where to begin... shall not be complaining bt any stuff or talking any more stupid stuff but shall juz randomly think n mention stuff, until i get less bored... Haha, sry, but i'm kindaf treating this as a place where i can juz rant on n on... When my mood dxn feel too gd, i sometimes juz feel like doing nothing except talking crap...

Understanding Blitzy Chapter 2: Blitzy's mood swings like a swing... Except tt it nv swings up suddenly, it only goes down abruptly... When a raw nerve is stepped upon...

Sometimes, u wonder if u can turn back time... Or if u can ctrl stuff happening ard u... But u simply cant...Like everyone else, we're all pawns of fate... We go where we are destined to go, where we are chosen to go... If u're meant to be hurt, then so be it... U juz gotta tahan thru it...

Btw, its a new day n new yr today! Hoping fer all e best fer everyone! May all ur wishes come true, n of cos, may us all have a great yr ahead!

Random wish of e day: May all gd frens enjoy everlasting friendship, n all "you3 qing2 ren2 zhong1 cheng2 juan4 shu3"