a free nite...

All of a sudden, i haf nothin due tmr... N i can actually haf the nite to myself, doin wadever i want... But in the end, i feel so lost... I seem to haf lose my aim in life all of a sudden... No movies i wanna watch, I finished scrubs 5, dota is startin to bore me, n youtube videos; its not easy to find those tt i can actually sit down n haf the patience to watch.

N in the end, i decided to sleep... Cant really fall asleep, but rather, many stuff surged into my mind... sometimes, i cant help but wonder how different izzit btw wad i think of myself n wad others think of me... I mean, u always see ppl being so smiley in front of u, but behind u, who knows wad they are actually thinkin? i find myself being very direct at times, if i cant stand a person, u wun c me hangin out wif him/her... maybe tts y, most of my closer frens are those who are similarly as direct as me... :)

My summer is in a total blur.. I haf absolutely no idea wad i wanna do... I mean , i can juz head back to sg n rot my time away... Which sounds darn nice cos its sth i wun haf the luxury to do after 1 more yr... Or i can do some research here, fer a few weeks then head back... But well, 1 very impt qn fer me would be, who else is stayin here??? N wad research shd i do? LAstly, i can always head back to Work, like attachment n stuff... But I really really dun wanna wake up at 7 am... Seriously honestly... if there is 1 thing i hate more than wakin up at 7 am , its wakin up even earlier... Dun talk to me in the morning, U will be seein sth u dun like to see...

This weekend seems to be quite relaxin... As far as i can see now... Lets hope it is indeed as relaxin as i hope it would be...

Sat nite...

Its always durin a saturday nite that i tend to think more, feel more... Ya, the usual emo feelin... but its always nice to haf someone to talk to. Someone who can be completely honest with me, and someone whom i can be completely honest with. I know how completely useless i haf been, but thx fer e kind words still... N of cos, thx to all who still stick wif me n support me... Appreciate it...

Sem is startin to be busy, the first stop bein my epp project... Loads of shit to do, zzz... But i think
its still better than last sem, the 6.5 subjects n TA is much more fun than my 3 ece courses last sem... Startin to realise wad i have been missin out in life, was too focused on my academic results last 2 sems, which is very wrong... At least i feel tt i am havin a more balanced lifestyle, enjoyin myself more, a more healthy lifestyle, n knowin more ppl...

haven been catchin up much with my old frens, really wonderin wad they are up to... cant wait to be back in sg n hang out with them, think this summer will be the most nua n excitin summer ever... =p Ok, i am always optimistic, but i mean, when u haf nothin on ur schedule, i mean, its time to juz wadever u want fer 3 months! Shiok... =p

No more g n h

Its been long overdue, but i now officially announce tt my comp has lost its h n g button. Nothing comes out when i press them. So, all the h n g u c now is a result of me using ctrl c + ctrl v to copy n paste them... So if u c me having speech problems on msn at times, pls try to understand... n if u c both alphabets in the same sentence, do feel honoured...

The holz were great to be honest, sleeping, enjoying myself, drinking, n exercising... Been drinking quite a lot in those holz, thx to jiamin n alan fer e hospitality... I could sleep very well after drinking, no dreams n such, as compared to recent times... or maybe tts juz an excuse to drink...

the sem starts once more... N i feel tt i haf an aim once more... A futile aim? Maybe, but no matter wad, it keeps me focused n being able to enjoy my sem... Thx to all who haf been trying to spur me on n stuff, or juz listening to my bitching... Ppl always tel me i haf a lack of confidence n stuff, but to be honest, my self esteem has always been high... Tts y i may seem to be so cool towards certain stuff at times... But there are some rare times, (this is e second time in my entire life) i juz feel tt no matter how much better i am, i am nv good enuff... No need to say anything, its something i need to get thru on my own... =p

A weird dream....

i wonder how many ppl ard here watches the anime ouran high school. But watching it is one thing, dreaming bt it is another... had a dream bt it a few nites back, cant remember when but it was certainly weird...
Me n a few frens joined a certain club in cmu... N fer some reason, after joining it, we decided to chane it to a host club. Fyi, host club is a club where there are many cute guys, each cute in their own individual ways to entertain girls. N yeah, in my dream, me, ming yang, alan, junwei, n tj were in it... N we each were suppose to be cute in our own styles... N it pains me to say tt here are our cute styles in my dream...

TJ: The one who kills wif his jokes... One word from him n girls die luffing... (not in ouran)

Alan: The honey-sempai type... i.e. boyish type who kills by acting kawaii

Junwei: The prince type... YES, i actually dreamt of him to be princey... Arrrgggghhh...

Sh n My: Sadly, we are the hikaru n kaoru brothers, killing by protraying gay brotherly love... Eeeekkss...

Obviously sth is a lil wrong here...

Drinking thoughts

have been drinking quite a bit these days... N the worse is, i always kena sabo to drink during games... Actually, if ppl ask me wads so fun bt drinking, i really dunno... I guess its cos when u drink, u tend to let go of ur restrictions n stuff, n can be more free... i.e. do things u normally dun do... Do things which u really wanna do but nv dared...

I think tt its the company in the end tt counts... U need to have fun ppl, nice frens to really have fun while drinking... N i guess its this current bunch of frens tt makes me wanna drink...

But i dun do much still even when i drink. I still consciously try to maintain my composure, to be as normally me as possible, afraid to let myself go too much... Perhaps i juz wanna forget some stuff fer the time being, and be as carefree as possible. At least i do know i think less when i drink... Sounds like me trying to escape from reality... perhaps it is so...

Still, too much alcohol is bad fer health... N since its sprin break, its time fer me to lose the extra pounds n regain my fitness once again!
So yeah, my spring break resolution:
1. Exercise more often, n hopefully, be in a better state after spring break!
2. Learn how to design a webpage
3. Enjoy myself!

My Survey Qn...

The stupidest survey qn ever...


What is ur gender?

Male, Female, Others

N which survey is it implemented? The survey i am workin on...

Y would there be a need for others? U are either male or female! Certainly dun see the point of others... Yet, some ppl think tt we shd include others... N sadly, majority wins...

time wasting

I juz dun understand y ppl like to spend so much time over nitty gritty things...
U use technology to speed up things not confuse urself DUDE!
N here i am, in need of time, while some others just like to take their own sweet time, doin their own stuff. I am so freakin tired of all this shit, shall juz stay here n type my blog.

I AM SO VERY SIAN.