U'll nv walk alone!

Thats the famous chant of the REDs whom just won the champions league final... They were the underdogs... They were down 3-0 at half time... They werent a spectacular side... Yet, they won! It was the most exciting match i have ever watched, my heart beat was like beating along side with the match, i almost couldnt believe my eyes when i see the ball go into the back of the net... But it did! not once, twice, but thrice in the game time, and 3 more times in the penalty kicks... Was it really fate decreeing their win, or was it the team that actually did it...

Perseverance is the key... You see the players totally shagged out... Carragher was like 1/2 dead... trying his best to be on his feet... But yet they persevered on... Yet on such a joyous occasion, i had to be pessimistic... wondering if perserverance is as great as it seems... Shd u persist on everytime? Or shd u give up? How much setbacks shd u suffer b4 u decide to give up? Would there need be a result to justify ur efforts everytime? Or would you be satisfied with the efforts u have put in...

Tired... Sometimes wondering whats my purpose in life... Maybe those who have the answer can tell me... Y are some ppl just so different from what i thought they were, y are others simply so stubborn? Questions everywhere, no answers though... There is so much i wanna know, yet i dun wanna ask... Hoping that the answer will fall from heaven... Hitting me on the head just as the apple hit Newton on the head... For an answer... to what? I dunno...

*Another random rambling session* Sry for the non-sensical argument...

Its just 1 night... N yet it changed so much stuff... Its really seldom tt i start to think about me again, work or play was occupying most of my mind... But it was times like this that made me think about stuff... When u make a decision... Should it be based upon the outcome at all? Shd u even stand true to a belief that u know may jolly well turn out to be false... Is it ever worthwhile to keep waiting and hoping... for something that may nv appear... N in e process, rejecting all other possible options... Sounds kindaf dumb isnt it? But think there're ppl who still stand firm to their own opinion.. The stupid ones...

There're many roads in front... 2 of which are particularly clear... 1 has a 90% chance of success, the other has only a 5% chance of success... the prizes that awaits are of similar form, but yet different... but y do i persist upon this arduous road? When i can take an easier path to success? Is it becos i really like this prize at the end that much? I dunno... Is it becos i like things which are harder to get? I dunno too... The more i think, the more questions i get which even i myself cant get answers too... I aint really the determined sort but yet y am i still trying hard? By my char, i shd have given up already... But...

Guess sometimes we dun even know ourselves that well... How well do u think u know urself? Are u sure of ur own feelings, beliefs, and thoughts, or are u actually trying to come up with a logical guess as to how you would feel, believe and think? And confused it with reality?

guess this just a rambling session for me... For me to try to say out whats troubling me without saying it out exactly... Machiam like implementing an interface in java... Writing down the method head w/out the exact methods... which reminds me of my sad assignment... which i thought i had finished but now, for some bizarre reason, there's somethign wrong wif it... help help... spent like the whole afternoon w/out much progress... And now here i am, occupied by other stuff instead of trying to debug it...

Nothing much accomplished today... With only increased nostalgic feelings... All e passion and interest in my studies seem to have be reduced by 50% overnight, just hope that it will all come back to me... Just feel like rambling a lil at times, saying what i think...

Summer School!

Finally i move into my new place... But got used to it quite easily... Its a quiet lil room, filled wif all my stuff and things tt i like... Really enjoying the peace i have in my room... Summer school's been really great so far... Mebbe cos the hw aint coming yet... Philo is actually quite fun, wif lotsaf stuff to think about... And some questions tt i've been pondering about has actually been answered... Though i still think tt Descartes is a lil extra... Sorry to all of his fans, but i seriously doubt several of his propositions, mebbe cos i haven understand enuff too... But seriously, wads the pt of thinking so deeply n writing so cheemly... Tmd... I read for less than 5 mins then "lost in translation" liaoz... like Billy Murray lydat... Talking about lost in translation, my fren just told me tt its a very nice show... hmm... I still remembered me and my pals in sg... Coming out of the J8 cinema, luffing at the bo liaoness of the movie... think it'd be a more efficient way of promoting japan than all other clips pur forth by the tourism board of Japan... Its sssssslllllooooowwww..... Sooooo vvveeerrrryyyy sssssllllloooowwwww.... Zzzz.....

Missed all my pals back in sg... Cant wait to come back man! Wonder hows everyone doing? How have they changed? But here i am... Doing summer school... But its really quite fun... Having the same routine everyday... I kindaf enjoy it... Wake up... philo, foodtruck, pool, 211, exercise/hw/slack, stats, dinner, hw/chat, sleep... though it may seem quite monotonous to some, but to me, i am thinking tt its actually quite relaxing... of cos, its also partially cos i'm enjoying my other courses too... 211 aint tt bad, but think mebbe its cos i haven experience the peak yet... But well, i shd just enjoy as i can... Dun think summer would be that bad anyway... After all, there're only 5 assignments... 1 of which is done... and 1 of which i can partner wif mingyang... So shdnt be that bad lar... N i'm understanding the concept, at least i think i understand... But how do i know that i know? Or if i know that much, then i should be knowing that i dun know... hmm... Ignore that, think its juz a part of my mind being philosophical...

Just watched a darn lame movie, Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.... Well, its lame in a good way... I'd seriously recommend it to everyone of my frens... Except tt if u're e more serious kind... Else u'd definitely love it! Imagine a movie written by the ever lame Junwei... How can anyone not LOVE it???? Haha... Haiz, too bad we cant catch star wars today... But i aint such a fan of star wars... Prefer a humor based movie as opposed to action movie anytime...

Mini break...

Wah, the stupid bed i saw was like darn bad lorz... The wood aint in too gd condition, the mattress is not too nice... So i din take it in e end... Sianz... Was kindaf bothered by the bed for the entire day... Went to ikea to take a look at other beds, but yet, either the frame is too ex, or that it is too ugly... Until... I saw this darn sui frame... costing bt $100... thought over it for a while, (a while == 10 seconds) then decided to buy... Then when i go to pay the bill, i realised i need to ship it to my place, which means an additional $60... wah buah tahan liaoz... then lppl gotta search for other options...

Heng heng in e end found a seller wif a not bad bed who lives darn near me... Yay... Now no problem wif transport liao! haha...

REalised that i've been spending really quite a lot these few weeks... Ate lotsaf good food in pittsburgh like the oriental super buffet, joe's crab shack, etc.... Spent really a lot lorz... haiz... But sometimes, money is meant to be spent... so long u enjoy it, then its ok... But i'm really eating too much!!! Arrgh... Sibei sianz... Eat a lil too much for a few days then grow fat already... How come i get fat so easily??? *complains behemently*

I've been thinking a lil lately... How great it would be for us to know what others are thinking of... Sometimes, u thought things are going this way, but in actual fact, they're going in the opposite direction... Sometimes, u thought things would never happen, but yet, they just take place... Some people, u nv think they'd be like that, but yet they are just like that... Do you need others to reciprocate before u actually feel good? Or can u constantly give and without expectation and still feel good... I doubt my ability to do it... which is why i'm experiencing disappointment... Do ppl really benchmark others upon their own selves? Guess thats quite true... But what can we do? Nothing... Maybe tts wad make the world as it is... The way things work between different ppl... Hmm...

Random thought of the day: "Things may be too complicated for ur comprehension... Just do as ur heart goes!"

Decision making...

Always knew i aint a really decisive person... But choosing a bed and desk dxn seem tt hard to me... The keyword here is "seem..." It only dxn seem hard, but it is darn hard! the fact tt i'll be using it for like at least 1 yr and mostly 2-3 yrs makes it even more difficult for me to make my decision... Hai... Bed seems nice, only thing is... I also dunno... the price aint bad, design aint bad too... Mebbe its only the size... I scared its too small... Or is that what i think i should be concerned about? Hmm... Maybe its the person, i'm prefer to pay more if the person's attitude is good, or if he's a nice person... Anyway, think i'm fixed on my bed liaoz, juz hope it turns out to be great!

so sad many ppl all left liaoz or leaving liaoz... LEaving me and few gd buddies behind... Now i need to think of stuff fer me to do to keep myself occupied...
1. Study- the lamest thing ever, studying in summer when my frens are all enjoying themselves.... but bo bian... who ask me to make this choice...

2. Chatting- My fav actitivity... Talking to ppl over the net... But wads the use? Keep talking also crap only... No wonder some ppl say i'm full of crap... haiz...

3. Eat n sleep - The mathematical formula to "uniting ur stomach muscles, whether they are in 2s(respect), 4s(envy), 6s(jealous), 8s(bows down), or 10s (worship)

4. Exercising - but i'm too lz at times...

5. Rot and stone- the most efficient way to kill time...

Its over!

Wah, finally, finish all e exams iaoz... Darns stressed fer dunno wad reason, esp towards the easier subjects... Tot could really ram n score but in e end, the exams were tougher than i thought.... Felt so nothing-to-do today... Was like wasting time away in the afternoon, feeling slack feels gd actually... But now tt everyone's gng off, i felt a lil sad... How to get used to CMU life without them, it'd be so boring... Its just so fast lorz, in a flash, everyone's gone... Sometimes dun even have time to say gd bye to them... More will be gone even faster, in a matter of days...But juz saw my new room, aint too bad, quite spacious, wonder if it will stil be as spacious after i put all my stuff in it.. maybe i bought too much stuff, but nvm, c 1st then c how bahz...

Was doing some thinking today... Wondering if sometimes the stuff u do is worth while... Are results that important? Results are not everything, they are the ONLY THING! err, a lil wrong? Yeah yeah, many would say tt the process also equally impt... but some stuff, the results justify the process... Seriously... Or is it just our minds playing tricks on us? Telling us that we are unhappy at the moment we know the result is known? Thus making us feel that the process is not enjoyable too? Haiz... Dunno larz... Dun care... think just take things naturally...

And just realised i am starting to be scared of chocolates... Wah, cant believe it myself too... Went to the fridge... Open it... For the first time, i see so many chocolates then i feel sianz of it... Mebbe my taste has changed, after several nights of healthy dieting... feels darn weird...maybe finally, i am on my way to being healthy and fit again! Yay...

Regret...

Haiz, nv tot i'd be here again stressed over my finals after tt concepts was over... Stats!!! Arrgh... N its really so difficult to understand... Shd have started earlier... But yet, i din... Come to think of it, y is the correctness of a decision based only on the outcome? Why cant it be based the moment we make a decision? But we've considered several factors before we make our choices... So y cant we think of it this way? When u make ur decision, n u think tt u've already "zhuan dao" (earned) from the decision u make, just be happy about it... think u'll be happier this way... At least i do...

Moving house... Hate the mere thought of it... I seriously hate big changes... I'm constantly trying to make my life better by some minor changes, but big ones really put me off... esp when its a change of environment... Guess this time the change should be gd... At least i'm getting my own room... And also, i think my own big bed... Which shd be comfy... i hope... N of cos, nice roommates.... though i think i'll miss Damon for his inspirations... Such as, eating ice-cream, doing homework n stuff... N of cos, e ever lovable Lisa who's ferever keeping me entertained wif her funny self... But well, i'll still be near em next sem... Hope i wun miss them too much...

Do u think a lot? Like about life, and whats happening to ppl ard u n stuff like that? Well, i've always wondered how it is like to just lead a simple life... *Going to aus to rear cows on a peaceful farm...* my retirement dream... but now things aint bad too... Wif stuff to keep u occupied, u wun think too much, they say... But yet, i am still thinking bt stuff... stuff which an ans can nv be reached... which u dun even know how right u are... which u have no ctrl over...

Starting to miss ppl in sg... Wondering how my frens are doing... long time nv talk to them liao... hope everyone's leading a good life out there... At least from wad i know, most are having the same mugging n playing lifestyle, like before... But come to think of it... Friends... Must it be a mutual thingy or are there people whom u really wish to be friends with but they nv seem to treat u as one? Or are there ppl whom u've really been close wif b4, but somehow, they juz seem to fade away, seemingly treating u as a stranger... Or ask urself this qn... Have u ever been the person's fren at all in the first place... Full of random stuff n crap tonight... Hoping to sleep early for my stats...

Random thought of e day "Its nv easy to forget anyone, the more u try the harder it gets..."

Concepts is over!!!

Finally, the most dreaded concepts for the sem is over liao!!! haha... Now think i can really relax liaoz... The rest of the subjects seem to be quite ok, at least i dun have much pressure on the finals... Think i shd be able to do ok for the exam... Suddenly felt as though i've been relieved of a burden... Whew... Just received ur card too, ling! Thx fer em... They're really nice, though its really a pity one of em has a corner of the card torn out... haha... I'm sure we'll definitely meet up in sg, how can we bear not to meet up wif e ever-lovable Ms Ham? *grinz*

Suddenly felt like just not doing summer school and just going back to sg... Cant believe tt all my frens have finished their exams liaoz, while i'm still here... There they are enjoying their lives away, while i'm still err... 1/2 way thru e exams, with another 6 weeks of summer school left to go... Arrgh... Wonder if things would still be the same as before, if we'll still be so closely-knitted after this 6 months... After all, we all have been experiencing different life styles for so long... Really reminisce the days where we used to skip lectures to go play lan gaming, or simply slack... And of cos, the days in army where we kb-ed so much at each other... N of cos, the days after army when we hanged out together like almost everyday, n yet nv grow sick of one another's company... But well, reality's this, and i gotta learn to cope... Have simply so many plans for summer, but just wonder how many of them will be actually realised... Well, only ard 1 2/3 months left... Must persevere... Arrgh... Kk, shall go watch movie liaoz... tts my way of persevering... =p

Kk, cant take it liaoz... Went to read my fren's blogs, after like 2 weeks of not reading any? In fact, i wasnt really in e mood to write fer e past 2 weeks, was more stressed and prefer to destress by eating n watching comedies... Well, tt could possibly be the reason for my growing fat again... Y!!! But dunno too lehz, come to think of it, the last 2 weeks seem to breeze past... now i'm more occupied with shopping for my furniture stuff, hoping to be able to get good deal and not spend too much moeny.. Think the recent shopping on ebay gave me a lil hole in my pocket... N wads worse, i may have been cheated... That bugger seller dxn reply to my mails and my stuff haven come yet... Hope its cos he ship late... 12 days already... N still counting... I've been listening to so much music tt i really miss ktv of late... Felt like singing but due to consideration for my roommate's ears, i decided to curb my singing passion...

Was just thinking bt stuff... Soemtimes u try ur best to be as understanding at times, but there are always times when u feel demoralised... wif ppl ard u... But the key qn is how u shd react... Sometimes i just wanna give up on them, but then i'll argue wif myself n try to give em e benefit of the doubt... How many times is the limit? When are friends no longer friends, as in, how come sometimes we are so close together, n yet other times, we are so far away... I dunno too... Or is it just the personality? Hmm...