i am very very pissed...

gg btw arg n ger... Both sides played well... but arg was obviously better... but still ger took the penalties better... Tts alright... I'm ok wif ger wining... but not wif ballck being so cocky... Can someone wipe that smirk off his face? Or punch it off his face... N was a FAKER... He fell in a corner... N guess wad, he clinched his nose... i thought he was hit... Then replays showed... OBVIOUSLY, the arg guy only hit the SIDE OF THE FACE... N he clinched his nose... Wah, oscar lehz...

The next thing i was pissed about... maxi rodriguez deserves a penalty obviously for a foul by Lahm... N guess wad, the ref books him fer diving... Well done ref... N not to mention the obvious bias shown by the ref in several decisions n free kicks... when ger deserves yellow n args deserve nothing... But congrats to klinsmann n the ger tm... Hope they can win the wc by playing well, not by having refs make stupid decisions... N i hope ballack gets injured in the course... n wun be able to lift the cup even if they win it... I'm mean, yes i know it... But i'm pissed... Wad u expect?

I show my unhappiness in my face... Tts me... Direct towards hatred, indirect towards love... If i dun like someone, u know it straight... If i like someone (applies only to girls), i also dun really show... dunno y, but i cant control my dulanness... Think those who know me well enuff would have seen this side of me at times... when i c some unjustice being done it'll be written in my face...

N i'm pissed too... For nt being able to play soccer tmr... Was suppose to play, but got some meeting which i need to attend... Darnit... Just when i've arranged everything sui sui then i saw the email... Think i can dun attend if i dun want to, Alan wun blame me... But its just not me to sacrifice work for play... I am playful, i will try my best to play, trust me on tt... But if i'm suppose to do something, i will do it... Tts me, n tts y my mood swings wif it too... I doing something which its not really have to do, but my principles say i have to do... Its this conflict between my principles n my feeling tt causes my "chao" face... but well, i gotta accept the fact...

Another batch of freshies...

Went fer summer contact yday... Met up wif the new batch of freshies comin to cmu next yr... Well, they seem quite a gd mix, with different kinds of ppl... got the usual cs-ers, the gamers, the solitary female, etc... Reminds me of 2 yrs ago, when i was gng to cmu... Well, i was realyl darn lazy come to think of it, refusing to go for summer contact or do anything about meeting new ppl... I always think, i'll be spending 1 yr wif u all, is there a need to meet up? I'd rather spend time with my frens in sg... Then now, i keep encouraging the freshies to come... Feel a lil weird... As i din really practice wad i said, but i guess, there're many times when u dun preach wad u say... U may say this at 1 pt of time, but when the time comes, other factors kick in and start to affect ur decision...

Just watched the italy vs Aussie match... Well, to be fair, australia dominated and should have done the job but they couldnt really find any chances... Italy defended well with cannavaro, buffon n zambrotta all performing darn well... Guess sometimes, the way u win dxn really count, its the win tt counts... LAst min had a penalty from totti which went in... Tts soccer fer u... U nv know the result until the last min...
But i'm glad italy is in, at least i've always supported them n i seriously hope tt they wun be affected by the scandal back in rome... Its such a shame if they cant play well because of some domestic factors...

Another match i simply have to bitch about... Holland vs POrtugal... Both sides play well... But portugal had more chances to finish off holland than holland did... But its not really the game play tts interesting... Its the behavior of the players... The hand ball was really really stupid... costigna deserved to be out of the world cup for that stupid mistake which may have cost them greatly... Holland as usual, (observed from the ivory coast game) played darn dirty... I really despise them now... The obvious drop ball was suppose to be a kick back into the opponents half but yet, they passed it and ran at the defence... Then Deco got a 2nd yellow for time wasting when he simply took the ball... the guy who carried n shoved him to the ground got nothing lorz... darn bad referring decision which could see eng beating portugal, and so the boring shitty football continues...

My life...

Work has been progressing at an anagonizingly slow pace, with me not understanding anything n trying to figure out another person's code w/out even really knowing wad he's suppose to do... Got a few parts figured out, but the others remain a blur... Was like trying to learn about the graphical user interface code but just simply cant get it... Tried referring to reference books n stuff but well, to no avail... Was very demoralised one day, jsut simply din wanna do it anymore... Kindaf like a i give up attitude... but after talking to mingyang, i found the motivation to continue... thanks a lot man... for being there when i was down n out... Now at least i'm doing fine... finished my tester program n managed to embark on my debugging process...

Life has been nothing but work n world cup... N weekends are like more precious than ever... Reminds me of my army times... Haiz... Have been doing a lot of thinking lately... Really a lot... dunno y i cant sleep tt easily these days... used to be lie on bed n concuss... but now.. its lie in bed n thoughts start flowing into my mind... until i cant differentiate between dreams n thoughts... Too much to say dunno where to start so shallnt start...

N oh yar... i went fer my sis's graduation last week... Saw her prof... n as usual he said she is blah blah blah... then he saw me n told me my sis is doing well... then he asked my parents... "Older or younger son"... i almost threw up the food i was eating... Haha... Guess i'm still looking young...

Disappointment...

Still cant believe how badly the czechs played on sat... They were very disorganised n looked tired... Even the time they lost to greece in euro, they still played well but ydya... Haiz... N italy... Super unlucky... They were playing well n stuff... But a very very unlucky own goal caused them the win... Guess tts wad make soccer interesting... u nv know wads gonna happen... 1 min they were 1-0 up, but b4 u know it, they're 1-1 level wif 1 guy sent off... Was feeling sad for lippi with his drooping eyebrows expressing sorrow n disappointment in the team... But i'm sure the italians will bounce back... Its really hard to say who will qualify, even harder to have both italy and czech qualify together, but i guess tts wad makes the world cup fun to watch... the unpredictability of it...

n i must say... the weekend is super short... Its like a blink of an eye n ya, i gng back to work tmr... Even though the job's ok, but i just dun really like desk jobs... Somemore it ends so late... I always feel so tired tt i dun wanan go out after tt... Just wanna come home n watch world cup... n rest... Like now...

Holland vs Ivory Coast

Holland SUX... Yes they do... No tm work, bad co-ord n even though they're like star studded, i think ivory coast really did much ebtter than them... They put in the hard work to fight for a goal, gave us really exciting football to see, n i really admire them... I'm not a very results person, but more of a process person... I support those who put in the effort n not just succeed becos of luck...

Its unfair, but its life...

must admit, i've been rather lazy to get out of the house these days... Just wanna slack at home n pei my family... my sincerest apologies to those whom i've been nt meeting... I just think that now is the time when my parents are not tt old n are still healthy and able to enjoy life so i shd really spend more time wif them...

But yet, i always try to make time for most of my frens... like reserving weekends fer them n stuff, but now tt i think of it... its actually quite stupid of me... y shd i always be the one trying to fit in everyone's constraint, n even having to inconvenience other frens n family... Seriously, i'm starting to c no pt in this... Perhaps its better to revert back to another side of me, where i jsut do wad i want, w/out really thinking n considering for others... Perhaps tt is the way life shd be... Its time i turn to the bright side...

Everyone has some constraints in his or her life i'm sure... N a clash is inevitable... But its really how much u are willing to give in that determines the success of the meeting-up, or the maintenance of a frenship... No pt in always having to give in while others take this giving in fer granted... Only by mutual co-op n effort can we really hope to make things work... So... Look ard u to c who are those who really care... Its time u reciprocate if u haven done so... At least i'm trying to...

some thoughts...

Dun feel like blogging today but just somehow stumbled upon this page in my random surfing of the net... sometimes i ask myself y i post... Is it fer my ownself to look back at myself? Or simply to entertain others? Or to let my frens know how i am now... Perhaps its all 3... I really dunno... but as i write more, i think more... n i stumble upon topics to write upon... Wif Wang Li Hong's "Kiss goodbye" inspiring me...

Have been listening to the new chinese songs lately... Realised how outdated i am when i went ktv wif my frens the past few times... Its really darn sian lorz... when everyone "dian" the nice new song, but u still "dian" the old songs.... So i've decided... I'll listen to the new songs n learn them!!! Haha... Though i think prob i still cmi by the time i flying back... but i must learn! so anyone interested in gng can jio me anytime!

Talking bt ktv, i've decided to come up wif a list of things i wanna do besides KTV...

- Soccer! the world cup is just sooo inspiring...

- Badminton! Must play more here to match up to the msians' standard in pitt...

- ice skating... yes, i had wanted to learn tt like donkey ages ago... n every holz i wanna go but alas... dun say liao...

- Pool! N guess wad, i have my own cue stick too! all thx to mykoh n alan... but i played twice on it only! So need to play more!

- Shopping... Haiz, my wardrobe seems diminishing despite the fact tt i haven thrown any clothes away and have been buying... Perhaps its my taste tt changed... Or rather, my size...

- Dota! How i can ever forget this... The thing tt came out of my army yrs... Every sat at the uncle shop w/out fail... N now tt the cmu ppl have caught on the fever, i must improve even more!

- N of cos, all the general stuff like eating, watchig world cup, movie-ing, etc... n if there's any poor soul out there looking for someone to watch xmenIII...

Those were the times...

A chat wif my mentor( who's also from TCHS) brought back memories of the past... A further look at my photo album brought back these...

- The times when i used to wear my tchs shorts darn high n play chateh at every space we could find...

- The times when i say " U're my best fren"... Or " I dun fren u liao..."

- The times when i comb my hair in the greasy "curry pok" style (as my dad used to call it)... I.e. side parting (for those new-age kids)

- The times when bebop n rocksteady were such familiar names n not just jokes we luff at now...

- The times when i look a pretty girl n then look away shyly when she turn her head... (not tt i dun do tt now...)

- The times when i looked so fat n cute...

Haiz... Time flies... I'm getting old...

Work work...

Had my first week of attachment at DSTa... well, its quite different from what i had previously expected... N i oso learnt a few things bt myself...

1. I was lucky to have a nice mentor and nice ppl working with... My job was to do this program for them.. but the 1st thing my mentor said: "The most impt thing bt this attachment is tt u learn something... Dun worry if u cant finish the program by then... If u can finish, it'll be more like a bonus to me... " Not the exact words but u get e idea... So well, i'm stress free!

2. There arent many stuff i can do in dsta... Cos i dun like waves n nv take signals... looks like my future is kindaf limited... How?

3. Most of the walking i do for the day is going to the toilet which is like 10 metres away... I hate desk bound jobs... MAke me grow fat nia...

4. I miss Sg dessert a lot!!! Ate dessert everyday! Haha... Cheng teng, chin chow... Songz boh... No wonder i'm growing fat liao...

5. The most interesting fact i learnt: My eyes are really very small! I looked in the mirror everytime i went to the toilet n could c myself quite clearly... N fer once, i realised tt i have very small eyes... Or perhaps its cos i stare at a comp the whole time while working...

n ya... world cup... talk bt that another time...

1 week of fun...

Really had a great 1st week in sg... Food's delicious, n its real shiok gng about eating everything... Haha... Glad tt i met many of my frens from the past, n even more glad to see tt they're doing well in both studies n relationships wise... Was chatting with a fren n then suddenly realised tt i've known him for 10 years! Yes, shi nian... 10 yrs always seem to be a darn long period for me, but before i know it, i'm already 22... Gng to be 23... In another few more yrs, i'll be working n have reached full adulthood... Will i still be dota-ing ? Or playing soccer? Or will i engage in other activities like drinking in pubs, playing snooker, all these more adult-like activities...

Its really hard to describe the feeling of being back in Sg... after so many months away from it... For once, i'm just lazing around the house, doing nothing... N i do not feel guilty having do nothing the whole day.. .Haha... Sometimes,i feel tt having several close frens is more than enuff... there's no need for me to know like 1000 ppl, only to have no one whom i am close with or whom i can really talk to... I mean, even when i'm older, i think i'll be spending time with my family and only pals whom i'm close to... Doubt i'll have time to like keep hanging out with everyone, who also have their own fmaily n stuff... But just hope tt when i grow older, i can balance btw family n frens, n not just be totally immersed in 1 side...

Well, but up to now, there're still many frens whom i haven meet up wif... Will try to meet up wif them at least once, but work may be killing me... hope it isnt too stressful though, the last thing i want is for a stressful work place in between 2 very stressful semesters...